"When I finally had the talk with my father about what happened, I just let him off the hook the whole time. I guess I saw it wasn't going to be the conversation that you have in the movies."
On this episode, Erin and Elizabeth talk to Gen-X heroine Ione Skye, whose bestselling memoir SAY EVERYTHING really does live up to the title's mandate; it's okay to tell your story, especially the hard parts. Most of us know her best as the actress who played Diane Court opposite a boombox-wielding Lloyd Dobler in Cameron Crowe's iconic 1989 teen movie Say Anything, a movie also about a complicated father/daughter relationship.
Ione's actual father is the 60s folk wizard and Sunshine Superman, Donovan. Though he had two children in England with Ione's mother, Enid Karl (Ione's older brother is Donovan Leitch), her dad viewed his daughter as a mistake, and Enid and her children were banished to California, where Ione grew up alongside other daughters of luminaries in the canyons of LA. But her friends' fathers' absences on tour or on set were different - at least they had relationships with theirs. Donovan did claim Ione's brother Dono as his own, but referred to her since birth only as "the girl." Donovan would finally acknowledge Ione when she was by that point a famous teenager, signing his letters, "Your distant daddy." Still, trying to catch his attention and love was like trying to catch the wind. She tells us all about meeting him for the first time, and what their relationship is like now.
Ione was 16 when she fell in toxic love with Anthony Kiedis of the Red Hot Chili Peppers, who was much older and addicted to heroin. Leaving Kiedis for her first healthy love, Beastie Boy Adam Horovitz, was an act of self-preservation, but that marriage at age 22 was undone by her infidelities. Always moving from one great love to the next with lots of flings in between, Ione nursed a nagging feeling that there was something more feeding her sexual seeking and serial cheating than the rise of fuck-me feminism in the 90s. (Hard same.)
Ione is now the mother of two daughters and has been married to the musician Ben Lee for 17 years. (Behold their excellent podcast Weirder Together). Ione shares what she's learned from Ben about fatherhood, communication, and a true love that stays. For anyone with abandonment issues, this one's for you.
You can find SAY EVERYTHING where all good books are sold; the audio book is also incredible.
Listen to the ep here on Substack, Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you get your shows.
Thanks for listening! We love you.
Erin, Elizabeth & Matt
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